My new sounds:

@1 month ago

It’s like, one of my best friends won’t really talk to me anymore haha I push everyone away haha fun

@6 months ago with 1 note

one time i got a blowjob in a car in a parking lot and then a cop showed up and was like really, in a car and i explained there was no where else to do it and he said get a hotel room and i said but im a poor college student and he totally understood

@6 months ago with 4 notes
#blowjob stories #woo 

"If you don’t speak English, you’re stupid!"

my mom being racist at our family Christmas party
@6 months ago with 2 notes
#merry christmas 
WAZZUP Y’ALL #MERRYCHRISTMAS @CANUCKS #GOCANUCKS

WAZZUP Y’ALL #MERRYCHRISTMAS @CANUCKS #GOCANUCKS

@6 months ago
#merrychristmas #gocanucks 

helioscentrifuge:

asgardreid:

sextronautt:

we live in a world where the pizza arrives faster than the police

Well the pizza driver faces consequences when their job isn’t done right.

image

(via spookybarrricades)

@7 months ago with 446820 notes
eatsleepsluttyrepeat:

hate to break it to y’all but i’ve kinda already made my move on fab ur all invited to the wedding

eatsleepsluttyrepeat:

hate to break it to y’all but i’ve kinda already made my move on fab ur all invited to the wedding

(Source: eatsleepstrokesrepeat, via eatsleepstrokesrepeat)

@7 months ago with 191 notes

unclefather:

believeinnumbercity:

unclefather:

"i’ve never seen a diamond in the flesh"

alright, lorde never been to a kay jewelers or the jewelry counter at a macy’s

Probably not since she’s from New Zealand..

i don’t care what planet she’s from

(via emma-teresa9)

@7 months ago with 139441 notes
#socollege?

#socollege?

@6 months ago
#socollege 
  1. problematiquemuser said: WAIT WHAT DAN DAN YOU GOT A BLOW JOB MY CHILD

yes but did you miss that entire story, it makes it better

@6 months ago with 1 note
@6 months ago with 73197 notes
Merry Christmas bitchez #pinecone

Merry Christmas bitchez #pinecone

@6 months ago with 1 note
#pinecone 
Haircut bitches

Haircut bitches

@7 months ago
@7 months ago with 626641 notes

sextnoise:

if a girl were to say this to me i would laugh and fall in love

(Source: bobsgifs, via hellcatspangled)

@7 months ago with 175294 notes